A Squirrel Hospitalized A Politician After He Delivered An Anti-Squirrel Speech—Yeah, It Really Happened!

RealClear Staff


     Chicago Alderman Howard Brookins Jr.’s not looking to make cute, fuzzy friends, as he bantered about and belittled urban squirrels that are apparently “aggressive” and terrorizing trash-cart lids.

[Howard Brookins Jr. (middle) | Photo: Brian Jackson]

Perhaps his furry foes were in earshot of his hate speech, as within weeks, while biking along the Cal-Sag Trail, a squirrel shot itself into Brookins’ bike spokes. As the wee one was wrapped into the wheel, the alderman did an aerial over the handlebars and smashed his skull upon landing. Including a palm of pearly whites being bashed out against the ground, Brookins broke his nose and suffered a fracture. The would-be rodent revenge had him in the hospital for five days.

“I can think of no other reason for this squirrel’s actions than that it was like a suicide bomber getting revenge,” Alderman Brookins said in an interview. He added his full recovery will take months.

Brookins earlier anti-squirrel effort(s) entailed him hating on the $300,000 cost to garbage carts caused by the trashcan terrorists teething through the lids.

“It’s a pet peeve. It does invoke some giggles. But we are spending too much money on replacing garbage carts because the squirrels continue to eat through ’em,” Brookins said at a city-council meeting. Additionally, the alderman roared about residents repeatedly asking for replacement carts, as the pop-can-sized criminals could chew through a lid in as little as two days.

[Photo: © Alex Szymanek/Flickr]

Following his unfortunate fall, Brookins’ Facebook featured a follow up about him being okay but having to undergo several surgeries.

[Source: Facebook]

As for the squirrel, it’s probably poking around in that big, garbage bin in the sky. (“High Five, Little Dude!”)



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